The Tides of the Soul: When Childhood Shapes Our Shadow

Luna stands on the seashore of infinite worlds

“On the seashore of endless worlds children meet.

The infinite sky is motionless overhead and the restless water is boisterous.

On the seashore of endless worlds the children meet with shouts and dances..”

(Rabindranath Tagore, "On the Seashore")

Imagine for a moment the innocence of this child on the shore. Her open hands hold no greed, her clear eyes are not yet veiled by the fear of loss. Death itself is but a distant word, an indistinct wave on the infinite horizon. In this pure play space, every emotion is experienced fully, without judgment, without the need to conceal it.

Then the shore fills with other figures. Voices rise, soft or abrupt, weaving an invisible web of expectations, rules, "musts" and "don'ts." A small gesture of exploration is reprimanded by a frown. A strong emotion is stifled by a "behave." An innocent desire is tinged with blush by a disapproving look.

Observe our young girl, let's call her Luna. Her heart, once an ocean of free expression, begins to feel the tides receding, leaving behind rough sandbars. Exuberant joy, so natural, is met with a "that's enough." Anger at injustice is met with icy silence. Overwhelming curiosity is met with a "don't touch, it's dirty."

Every time a part of her, authentic and spontaneous, is met with embarrassment, disapproval, or even mockery, a small crack forms in her being. To maintain the love and approval of those around her, Luna unconsciously learns to retract these aspects of herself. These repressed parts don't disappear. They retreat into the shadows, biding their time, but continuing to influence her actions, her reactions, her relationships.

This shame, this painful sense of being fundamentally inadequate in its expression, becomes a powerful seed for the formation of her Jungian shadow. These rejected aspects—its anger, its boundless joy, its insatiable curiosity—are not annihilated. They become the silent inhabitants of its inner world, sometimes manifesting in devious ways, through inexplicable fears, overreactions, or a diffuse feeling of not being "enough."

As the years pass, Luna carries this shadow unknowingly. She wonders why certain situations make her uncomfortable, why she reacts so strongly to certain traits in others. These "triggers" are often echoes of the parts of herself she's had to bury so deeply.

But the path of life is a cycle, a spiral. One day, a gentle curiosity leads her to explore the charts of her own inner firmament. She discovers ancient rhythms, configurations that speak of her challenges, her hidden gifts, and also those shadowy areas that need to be illuminated. It's as if an ancient language, long forgotten, begins to whisper familiar truths.

Guided by a gentle and insightful hand, Luna learns to recognize the contours of her shadow. She doesn't try to fight it, to deny it. Instead, she learns to listen to it, with the same curiosity she had as a child on the seashore. She realizes that these rejected parts are not monsters, but aspects of herself that have not been welcomed, that have been wounded.

Gradually, Luna begins to reintegrate these exiled fragments. It's a delicate, sometimes uncomfortable, but profoundly liberating process. She discovers that this repressed anger was actually a protective force, an affirmation of her limits. Her stifled joy reveals itself as a source of creativity and enthusiasm. Her curiosity, once deemed "bad," becomes a thirst for learning and understanding the world.

As she explores her inner world, Luna feels a new power emerging within her. It is not a brute force, but a gentle, confident strength, born from the acceptance of her wholeness. She is no longer fragmented, but unified. She dances with her own inner tides, knowing that even the shadows have their own beauty, their own wisdom.

Spring comes back every year, doesn't it? Nature unfolds in all its splendor, accepting every leaf, every flower, even those that seem different. What if you, too, allowed yourself this same acceptance? Perhaps it's time, gently, to turn your gaze towards those parts of you that whisper in the shadows... What treasures are you waiting to discover?